Now Playing Tracks

generalbooty:

yeah so i slept with this dude last night and idk we were chatting a bit  during the sexy time and for some reason his birthday came up and i was like “wait 25th of september? DUDE me TOO, wtf thats such a coincidence” and he was like “really? we have the same birthday? are u fuckin with me?” and i just looked down at his penis literally inside my vagina and was like “well technically yeah” and he was like haha nice one and high fived me

hazel-grace-lancaster:

so my history teacher is a really cool guy but he’s also one of those teachers who, upon being asked “can i go to the bathroom?” goes “i don’t know, *can* you?” and he did it to a girl and she goes “WHAT ARE YOU PREPARING FOR? YOU REALIZE THAT AFTER HIGH SCHOOL I WILL NEVER NEED TO ASK PERMISSION TO USE THE BATHROOM AGAIN, AND THE DICTIONARY DEFINITION OF CAN SAYS ‘BE PERMITTED TO’” 

deductions-with-thedoctor:

bubbleberrys-bash:

cancerousmexicanfetusrapewhistle:

When I was 7 there was a group of really mean girls in my class and one day I pulled out my crayons and one of the girls walked up to my desk and looked me in the eye as she snapped my crayons in half 

if i were you i would have sharpened that crayon back, walked up to her, and looked her in the eye as i sliCED HER FUCKING THROAT OPEN WITH IT, I NEEDED A NEW RED ANYWAYS

new from crayola:

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(Source: caseyanthonyofficial)

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